Porn addictions and marriage

Is My Husband Addicted to Porn?

porn addictions and marriage

Not everyone who sees porn will become addicted to it. Some will just come away with toxic ideas about women, sex, marriage and children. That kind of. Pornography use can impact marital intimacy in very serious ways. Here are some of She sees it as a slippery slope to addiction. It may also. And yet something was wrong in our marriage; I just didn't know what It turns out, my husband was addicted to porn; despite his efforts to stop.

Woman describes how porn addiction destroyed marriage, calls for more scientific study

Print 14 Pieces of advice for confronting sexual addiction. I recently read an anonymous letter published by the wife of a man addicted to pornography.

Instantly, I felt heartache, sadness, and anger for her. I trust that other people will find something here to help them as well. How pornography robs viewers of authentic love, trust and honesty To the anonymous wife: Everything you have written is absolutely true, and not just for you, but for many other wives and husbands, too. I want you to know that there are, in fact, resources to help spouses of people who are addicted to pornography.

Nevertheless, let us start by being brutally honest. Your husband is probably addicted to more than porn. Here are some practical suggestions for the anonymous wife: There may be problems with your sex life, but they are not the cause of his addiction.

Pornography Addiction in Marriage - The Art of Marriage

Rather, to the contrary. This addiction causes problems in your sex life, not to mention in your marriage. Your husband will never be sexually satisfied as long as he continues to be an addict with no intention of recuperating. Take a test for STDs. It will put you on a roller coaster of mixed feelings. He is an addict, which means, unfortunately, that he is a liar. He has to lie in order to manage his addiction. You have no way of knowing if he has told you the full truth about his sexual disorder.

Most likely, he has only told you half-truths, something sufficient to satisfy you during a moment of confrontation. Find one that works for you. You are carrying a tremendous weight on your shoulders and you are suffering intensely. Twelve-step programs are free.

porn addictions and marriage

Many offer both individual and group guidance. As with all therapists, sex addiction therapists are a heterogeneous group: Preparing for lasting intimacy in marriage Be smart. Listen to your instincts. They were designed under the supervision of Dr.

Patrick Carnes, a renowned sex addiction expert. His research, especially in the area of the family, is aligned with Catholic doctrine. CSAT specialists are also trained in the process through which a husband opens up completely or as much as she needs to his wife.

You will need to go through this process in order to move forward. What you need is someone who understands what you are going through; whether or not he or she is a Catholic is a minor point.

You need to know that they are an expert therapist who is able to help you. Investigate on the internet; call competent health organizations to ask if they can recommend someone, or to find out if there are any complaints regarding one of the therapists you are considering.

porn addictions and marriage

You can even check with your primary care doctor; some clinics have lists of mental health professionals with a neutral ideological stance. Read up on codependency and PTSD post traumatic stress disorder for spouses of sex addicts. More and more therapists who work with spouses of sex addicts are discovering that these spouses are suffering more intensely from something like PTSD.

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There probably is an element of codependency, but the effect of PTSD is much more immediate, because sexual addiction is a profoundly personal and intimate addiction. The suffering caused by sex addiction is radically more personal for the spouse. Furthermore, it is often more hidden and secret.

In order to understand more about sexual addiction in general, read books by a respected expert, such as the book Out of the Shadowsby Dr. You can read information provided in resources for spouses or partners in general of sex addicts. Our bishop suggested the Addiction Recovery Program specifically for pornography addiction and we agreed to participate. The program was organized as a group meeting and at first it was very embarrassing to attend, especially when I discovered that another woman in the group was someone I worked with.

These feelings faded with time as I developed a bond with other members who were dealing with similar struggles.

porn addictions and marriage

Shortly after beginning treatment, a woman in the group pulled me aside and strongly suggested I get an annulment before my upcoming one year anniversary. She shared with me how her husband had repeatedly relapsed in his addiction, even after getting help, and how she felt she could not leave him because she had four children to care for.

She urged me to get an annulment so that I could avoid children and a divorce. I pondered her words strongly and was sick at heart for the next week. After a visit with my stake president and a lot of prayer and pondering, I felt that I would agree to work at our marriage for as long as my husband would.

porn addictions and marriage

Although I was angry at him, I could at least acknowledge that he was willing to change. Things got worse before they got better. The next few months passed with bouts of severe pain and heartache where I was plagued by nightmares and loneliness.

Is My Husband Addicted to Porn?

Many times I pleaded with my Heavenly Father to give me the strength to get through. As time passed and things began to get better, I was able to focus on several valuable truths I learned which aided my recovery: It is a myth people turn toward pornography when they are being unfulfilled sexually. I felt such a heavy weight believing I had driven my husband toward pornography because I had been unsatisfactory to him in some way.

In reality, most individuals with these addictions have had them for years, many times since childhood. It was an addiction long before my husband met me and his choice to participate in it was in no way my fault. It is vitally important that both partners seek help.